This is why I can't have nice things

Sometimes I just don't want to deal with people, or things. I don't want to respond to anyone. I simply just don't want to deal with any shit.

ANY.

But then it piles up, like a turd. And I start getting anxious and paranoid. The pressure to act starts to build up, and therefore I just want to run away from all of it. But it keeps piling up and up, to the point where I just sort of want to die in order to avoid dealing with it. Well, not literally die, but sort of.

Then, I just force myself to start with ONE thing; just one. Any one. Something. Do something. So I make coffee, I eat breakfast. Good start. Now answer one email, ONE. Nice. Now let's keep it up. What's next? Writing a thesis. Damn. 

Wait. Don't panic. NO, don't even dare looking at your bed. Think of something happy. Happy thoughts, happy things. Going to Japan. That would be awesome. Alright, now you're smiling. Good, smiling is good. Now take a deep breath and politely reply to the girl that just blew you off in Facebook. Bad, being blown off is bad, but it is what it is; man up. Who needs love anyway?

Alright, now another happy thing. I know, puppies. Pictures of puppies and kittens or something in YouTube. Wow, helicopter violinists in Paris, nice. Good, YouTube good. Now keep going, what's next? Read advisor's thesis... Ok, Breathe. Yes, first take a deep breath. Feel your feet. They're nice and easy touching the ground. Good, feet on the ground is good. One chapter, that's fine. You're going to read one. The first one, it probably is the shortest one anyways.

With that off my chest, let's see see what's next. Off my chest good, very good. No, don't go back to thinking about writing a thesis. Thesis bad. Focus on immediately actionable items. Divide and conquer. One thing at time. Alright, good; self-therapy, good. Next on the list. Make proctologist appointment. Fuck.